Man Law Mondays:
This past weekend I saw something that disturbed me deep down in my Man spirit. I saw something something so wicked in the eyes of Man that I was perplexed as to how I would cite this particular Law. Reader beware: the story I am about to tell is not for the faint of heart...
I'm at my nephews track meet Saturday, enjoying the festivities and conversing with my peoples. Out of nowhere, my eyes were raped with a most heinous act! I saw a woman standing next to her man as they both leaned against a fence watching a race. She gently placed her arm around his back. Then her hand slooowly slides down his back to......his butt cheek. The worst is yet to come, smh. THEN, she ever so gently moves her hand from the booty cheek...(Lord give me strength to tell this story)...to the lower portion of her man's butt crack MAAAAN!!! I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Pineapples! PINE-APPLES MAN!!
What part of the game is this?!?
The cold part is my man didn't even flinch!! He just took it as if it were his next breath, all in stride like "I've been here before."
Do I REALLY need to explain this Men? At NO time should a woman's hand approach your hind parts...NO TIME!! And she shouldn't even be allowed to THINK of putting her doggone fingers anywhere near your dook shoot!!
Here's a Public Service Announcement for all women: If you do this to your dude and he doesn't IMMEDIATELY raise up with righteous indignation and condemn you to the doldrums of solitude to prevent himself from knocking you silly, please know your dude likes dudes and you better head for the hills like your name is Chicken Little because the sky is falling!!
MAN LAW!!!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
OWN UP or SHUT UP!!
Man Law Mondays:
Today I've chosen to rant about something that I've addressed recently but apparently needs to be gone over a little more thoroughly. This subject has worked my nerves like Massa, is we a gonna be ok! I'm talking about this online simpin' and illegitate sympathy speak!
#1 A Man needs to be a MAN! Own up to your mistakes and responsibilities! You have no business getting on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media outlet trying to win votes like Obama vs Romney. You aint no doggone politician chump! Who's support are you trying to win and why?? How about you grow up and be a responsible father, a faithful husband, and an upright Man, and cut out all that manipulation you spew with each word you speak and each gesture you make...UGH! Clowns like that digust me...
#2 PLEASE STOP being an e-simp for all these women. No woman that's worth a dime wants a man who's a phoney, oh baby youre so beautiful, your eyes sparkle like Orions belt type dude that really don't want anything but your panties and no committemnt. Leave these Boost Mobile, Metro PCS, no contract type cats alone!!
All you 'Men' who have violated these Laws...feel free to take a long walk off a short cliff... MAN LAW!!!
Today I've chosen to rant about something that I've addressed recently but apparently needs to be gone over a little more thoroughly. This subject has worked my nerves like Massa, is we a gonna be ok! I'm talking about this online simpin' and illegitate sympathy speak!
#1 A Man needs to be a MAN! Own up to your mistakes and responsibilities! You have no business getting on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media outlet trying to win votes like Obama vs Romney. You aint no doggone politician chump! Who's support are you trying to win and why?? How about you grow up and be a responsible father, a faithful husband, and an upright Man, and cut out all that manipulation you spew with each word you speak and each gesture you make...UGH! Clowns like that digust me...
#2 PLEASE STOP being an e-simp for all these women. No woman that's worth a dime wants a man who's a phoney, oh baby youre so beautiful, your eyes sparkle like Orions belt type dude that really don't want anything but your panties and no committemnt. Leave these Boost Mobile, Metro PCS, no contract type cats alone!!
All you 'Men' who have violated these Laws...feel free to take a long walk off a short cliff... MAN LAW!!!
Monday, May 6, 2013
Check your phone coats!
Man Law Monday:
Last night my best friend's wife was talking to him on her phone. I needed to speak to him so she gave me the phone and we talked. As my friend and I were speaking on his wife's femininely clad cell phone I grew fearful that someone would see me and accuse me of a Man Law violation. The cover was hot pink!
Men, this is just one of the many feminine things that are unacceptable in the world of Man! We live in a society where cell phones have replaced home phones. Since we have to look at these phones so often, some find it necessary to cloak their phones in decorative covers. A cover for your phone is totally acceptable...
BUT, there is absolutely no circumstance and I mean no as in not one single, solitary situation where you should use anything remotely associated with a woman to cover your phone! No pinks, no purples, no peaches. No zebra stripes or leopard prints. No beads or bangles or bedazzling.
Be a Man and keep it simple. If you're in doubt...don't! And if you have to use a woman's phone that's been enveloped in pink laced leopard print with a rhinestone border, go into a dark corner and hide until that conversation is over!
MAN LAW!!
Last night my best friend's wife was talking to him on her phone. I needed to speak to him so she gave me the phone and we talked. As my friend and I were speaking on his wife's femininely clad cell phone I grew fearful that someone would see me and accuse me of a Man Law violation. The cover was hot pink!
Men, this is just one of the many feminine things that are unacceptable in the world of Man! We live in a society where cell phones have replaced home phones. Since we have to look at these phones so often, some find it necessary to cloak their phones in decorative covers. A cover for your phone is totally acceptable...
BUT, there is absolutely no circumstance and I mean no as in not one single, solitary situation where you should use anything remotely associated with a woman to cover your phone! No pinks, no purples, no peaches. No zebra stripes or leopard prints. No beads or bangles or bedazzling.
Be a Man and keep it simple. If you're in doubt...don't! And if you have to use a woman's phone that's been enveloped in pink laced leopard print with a rhinestone border, go into a dark corner and hide until that conversation is over!
MAN LAW!!
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